by Melissa Waugh MS, Grief Support Specialist
This week marks the first day of summer. Despite the warm weather and more daylight, summer may bring challenges when coping with grief. Summer can be a favorite season of the year for many. You may look forward to having more energy to get out and do things. But, summer may no longer be as exciting if your loved one is no longer with you.
There are also the “firsts” that may happen when weather starts to warm up. Memorial Day may trigger grief emotions. A recent widower said this was not a major holiday for him, but he realized how many people were celebrating the three-day weekend. Having an extra day without plans can increase the sense of being alone. It helps if you can plan ahead and have something to do. It may be reading a book, taking a walk, visiting with a neighbor or taking a short drive.
4th of July
Independence Day is a time when many families celebrate with a family reunion or gathering. For the newly bereaved it can also be the first time you have seen your extended family and friends since your loved one died. If you coping with grief and attending a large gathering alone, you might want to plan ahead to bring a friend. Feel free to give yourself permission to leave early if you get too tired or overwhelmed. One young widow made sure she thanked her hosts when she arrived at gatherings so she could leave early if needed. She decided to drive herself to events during her first year so she could leave when needed.
Vacation
Summer may also mean vacation time and traveling. If you and your loved one used to travel at this time of the year, you may find it hard to travel. Traveling alone to visit friends and family can lead to feelings of loneliness. This may be the first time you have ever traveled solo.
It’s normal for these feelings to arise, so find ways to help support yourself. Writing down your emotions, talking with someone you trust and planning ahead to take short breaks when traveling can be helpful. If you find this year you can’t travel due to finances or it is too hard to do alone, find ways to spend with friends that are nearby. Plan mini- vacations where you can do something with a friend that you normally would not do, like take a class, visit a museum or go to a park.
Your first summers without your loved one can be a challenge. Remember to take care of yourself. Reach out to friends, family and community that are supportive to you in your grief. Remember that the intensity of your emotions you feel will begin to lessen as you create new memories.
Based on an article originally published in Journeys grief newsletter. Copyright 2017-2019 © Kansas City Hospice & Palliative Care. All rights reserved.
Resources
For more resources on coping with grief, please visit https://www.kchospice.org/grief/ or call 816.363.2600 and ask for Grief Support Services. Kansas City Hospice and Solace House are here for you. Part of our mission is to provide compassionate care for the whole family at every point in the journey.
Thanks for explaining that it’s important to take care of ourselves by reaching out if we’re in need of support during our grief. I recently lost my mom to cancer and have really been struggling to deal with the grief on my own. I’m glad I read your article because now I understand why grief counseling is something I should look into for myself. https://gfc-utah.com/grief-healing/