Day of the Dead can inspire us to cope with grief

Part Three of a three-part series on how grief support looks to traditions like Day of the Dead to help people learn new coping skills.

Read Part One “Day of the Dead is a celebration of life”

Read Part Two “Day of the Dead may provide insights into grieving”

By Denise Brown MA-ATR, Art Therapist/Grief Support Specialist and Wanda Kelsey-Mendez, Communications Manager with Kansas City Hospice & Palliative Care

In Part One, we discussed The Day of the Dead, or El Día de Los Muertos, a Mexican holiday that honors the dead. You don’t need to be Latino to celebrate Day of the Dead. But perhaps you can find inspiration from this colorful tradition. We discussed how the movie “Coco” makes some of the concepts of Day of the Dead approachable for both children and adults.

In Part Two, we explored the traditions while discussing how they might provide a different perspective for anyone grieving a loved one. Now in Part Three, we’ll look at some of the specific elements of the celebration and give suggestions on incorporating new traditions into your life.

Some things associated with the Day of the Dead:

Ofrenda or altars – flowers, candles, food, drinks, photos, and personal mementos of those remembered. They can be simple or very elaborate. Ofrenda means offerings and is not meant for worship.

Marigolds – the orange color of Mexican marigolds help attract the soul to the offering table. The color and scent of flowers aids remembrance.

Offerings – food or gifts that the loved one enjoyed are part of the altar and festivities. The food is for the souls, so although eaten by the living, it is thought to have no nutritional value. It’s traditional to have the foods and treats that the deceased love.

Catrinas – skeletons dressed in fancy clothing. The image reminds us that death is for the rich and powerful as well as the average person.

Sugar Skulls or calavera – decorated sugar skulls may be given as a gift to both living and dead. The sweet candy is a balance to the bitterness of death.

Papel picado – hand-cut paper banners usually depict happy scenes of skeletons.

Monarch butterflies – the Monarchs return to Mexico each year near the Day of the Dead. They complete a multi-year migration from Mexico to Canada and back. And, they symbolize the souls of the departed coming home.

Find a creative and loving way to remember people

Perhaps Coco and Day of the Dead will inspire you to find different ways to honor and remember loved ones. Here are some suggestions:

Enlarge and frame a favorite photo for the mantle and add in some creative touches
Create a special remembrance box for mementos – something you can see and touch
Bake grandma’s favorite pie for Thanksgiving and tell a story about her
Take the family out to dad’s favorite restaurant on Fathers Day and remember the joke he used to tell
Give everyone a pair of socks for the holidays, just like mom used to do
Create a memory ornament for the Christmas tree
Fill a vase with your wife’s favorite flowers on her birthday
Raise a special toast on your loved one’s favorite holiday
Plant a tree or special flower that reminds you of your loved one
Keep telling the family stories, no matter how many times people have heard them
Keep the memories alive in your heart and mind
Remember that’s it’s okay to laugh

Learn more about this fascinating tradition.

Mattie Rhodes Art Center offers an annual art exhibit of ofrendas created by local families and artists. They also host a street fair. The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art offers an interactive exhibit each year featuring art from Day of the Dead.